For me December holds so much more than Christmas, spirit and celebrations.
Don't get me wrong. My days get consumed with coming and going, to do's, the endless list. Extra activities to juggle with kids parties, events, decorating, shopping, and preparing.
It's also a season where I spend a lot of time reflecting. On our year, our life, personal and professional choices and goals, etc… I know I'm not alone. But it really is more than sitting down with a list and saying what do I want this next year. I spend weeks taking mental inventory, really digging deep into my heart and mind. Exploring the hi's and lows, good and bad and all that runs deep in me.
Journaling and scripture always bring me much to ponder and reflect. I love how when I am intentional about this and stay disciplined in the time it takes, God always spells things out for me. Then I allow him to place a word in my heart. This takes time too. It doesn't just show up in bold letters. No, its subtley comes up again and again in reading, articles, scripture, conversations and one day its so obvious that he has a message in that one word for you that its clear. Then I say a promise prayer to reflect and meditate on what he wants it to mean to me. How he wants me to use it, and so it begins. I always find this process exciting, exhilarating and cleansing. I'll share with you my word from 2013. INTENTIONAL.
I can't even simply tell you the impact this word had on my life this year. It rocked me to my core and I am so grateful!!! I let it guide me into many decisions and places that only faith can take you. To say I took a leap in many areas of our life is a understatement but let me just tell you friends, these are the moments that define us. This is where we find ourselves. All the day to day social garbage that people let into their precious world is useless. We have to redirect and follow the one that matters.
As I've started and grown my business I've kept a clear line between my "personal" and professional sharing. I must admit, there are times when I feel compelled to share something with my followers but am apprehensive and scared to do so. I struggle with letting my business be a platform to share more personal and spiritual matters. However, I know he commands us to serve and minister any where we can, in every facet of our lives.
In all honestly, I have been hurt and broken in ways that run deep. The worst pain is when you feel struck from the inside. From a place where you let them in trusted, shared vulnerabilities, thought someone knew you and that it was a safe place. Only to be the victim of hurt, mistrust, judging and plain meanness. I have always been a open person, way trusting and just believing the good in people. The pain I've felt from some bad experiences over the last few years has left me very apprehensive and protective about who I trust and share with.
It set in motion a struggle within me. I fear being judged and hurt. The thing is that I'm so imperfect. I mess up all the time. We all do, we fall short of our father no matter how hard we try, we are not perfect people, nor did he create us to be. One of the things I admire most about my God is his grace. Its "by his grace alone" that I am free to be me and live in his glory. I try each and every day to be the Godly woman he calls me to be. So its really hard for me to put myself out there only to have people point out all my discrepancies. But nothing is to mighty for our God. I know and believe and as I have traveled through this season of restoration I've learned that I need to let that fear go... God wants to use us all for his glory! I must let his words be used through me as his will.
I share this with you friends just to be real. Holidays are over. I am certain many of us are feeling and going through the same things as we prepare for a new year. Take some time to really see where you are and do you know where he wants you to be? Don't just start making resolutions based on the same things you've wanted to change every year…Go further, dig deeper, press in and surprise yourself :-) Ive got some changes and restructuring of my business I'll be sharing with you this week so stay close.
Thank you for allowing me place where I feel safe to share my heart with you.